Family Matters

We've all heard the expression 'she wears several hats' used to describe the state of playing multiple (and sometimes conflicting) roles in a process or relationship. 

It's a higher level of multi-tasking. If this is something you find difficult to do, this article's for you. 

How to cope with wearing many hats

Recognize all your roles

Some parents fight the role of disciplinarian. Others with multiple children try to avoid being the judge or referee in their children's lives. Unfortunately our children, loved ones and partners will not stop needing us to play our roles just because we don't like the role. Sometimes they stop expecting or asking us to play our part, but the responsibility remains ours.

It may take a while but you can list out all the roles that are expected of you by your partners or loved ones. This is the first step. 

Make a list, then discuss it with them. You would be pleasantly surprised by how well you understand their expectations. You may also discover significant differences. Your list should include serious as well as fun things. 

Actually spelling out what each role requires in time, skill and other resources can help you to decide upfront if you can play the role, or if you have to modify your life (calendar, skill level, et al) to suit the role.

This is business -  it's personal

Treat each role as a product or service that you sell, and each person as a customer. From TV I got two powerful statements: "It's not personal, it's business" and the very powerful response "Everything is personal if you're a person" To be a great salesman, you've got to know your products, but more importantly, you've got to know your customer. 

Talking with the people you relate with regularly and asking how they feel about what you do for them is very important. You've got to do it regularly but after a reasonable interval. People change - which means what you thought was great yesterday could become awful today. Keep in touch. 

Keep stock

You've got to remember how many packs of criticism you've supplied in the past three months. How many bags of hope and encouragement. How many vaccinations of praise. This matters - if you forget, then you can't defend yourself if your customer forgets.

If you've got a melancholic customer who always forgets about your hope and encouragement supplies, then you need to start delivering them through means they must acknowledge and that can be placed in their faces all day. 

If on the other hand you've got an amped customer who easily forgets corrections and constructive criticism, you've also got to get them to sign for it, in a way they won't forget. 

Remember why

Remember why you're in this. Funny as it may seem, it's some version of... Love. Yes, love. We're in relationships because we are committing ourselves to doing good to the other person (aka loving them). 

So when deciding on your supplies to your customers, remember to ask whether the contents are loving. It's always personal because you are dealing with a person. Every little thing matters - because it's a person that's receiving it. If they will ask themselves why, then you should too. Always ask "why am I doing this? Is this showing love?"

Think long term 

Once in a while ask yourself "if I couldn't be here anymore, if this relationship came to an end, what would its sum total come to?" What will they remember me for? Do they even have things to remember me by? 

Try these out and drop me a line anytime so we can chat further. Wishing you all the best in managing your hat collection!

If you liked this article please let me know (post a comment below) and if you think a friend would like it, share it with them. Thanks for reading. 

NOW!!!!!

What are we doing here? Living. Working. Serving. Believing. Being Nice. Being Proper. Being. Just BEing. Its not gonna end is it? Till He says so.

This is one of those contemplative moments that come upon you when you are 'in between' or should I say when you become aware that you are 'in between'

Between a question and an answer. Between a comment and a response. Between departure and arrival.

The way God designed this world, it would appear that the best times for reflection are the 'in-between' moments. As long as life remains, God has done you the favour of ensuring that you will have these moments. As sure as everything has an end, there must be an assessment thereof. So after each event, there inevitably comes reflection time.

So I encourage you today, in your moment of contemplation, to be honest. And when you rise from your contemplation, to ACT on your convictions. This is generic. Matters not your education, your status, your health, your age; all that matters is that you are alive for as the Teacher said, There is Yet Hope for The Living.

You will live and not die. But please live at the top. The air is fresher, the view is wider, the Sun is more glorious, the perspective is liberating and the experience is Life Changing. Go for the Best.

The door is only as shut as you want it to be. Trust me, if you want it bad enough, pay the price and pick it up. Don't wait till tomorrow (as long as the plan of action has been decided) GET UP and OUT NOW!!!