Learning - Adult education continued

Whoa!

I am tired - and that's not the bad news or the sad part. It's just the appertif. I am allowed to be tired. I exhausted myself by trying to figure out God's next steps. I have a gift that God gave me - it is not unique to me. I believe everybody has the same ability. To see. To know truth from falsehood. If we honestly look at our lives, we'll know what we are doing wrong and what to do to get back on track. It is the will to do it that makes the difference. Part of this seeing is seeing what we need to do next. Seeing the future... detour...

Flowing from my open mind I decided to surf the internet last night and came across an article by a lady who says she had been a lesbian for decades but over the past 5 years had met a man, fallen in love, and had four kids. She admitted in the article that she knows a lot of gay people will hate her for alluding to the fact that sexuality is a matter of choice and not a genetically predetermined state. As she expected, there was a shower of responses stating just that. They are still arguing. Me, I came away from the site with a lesson: (some) people are afraid of taking responsibility for their lives and their situation and will give anything to put the blame for it any and everywhere else.

Another lesson learned is that the cost of total transparency can be so great that people have to hide behind 'usernames' and 'avatars'. Luckily the internet provides this escape for many people, even though some of the responses and advice that comes to them are 'unbudgetted for' :)

Me I have 'market to sell' so I use social media to reach out to prospects. It works just fine for me. Back to the human will.

I will be honest with myself and admit that I am often tempted to be impatient with God (that's positive confession-ese for I am impatient and compulsive), and I run ahead of him sometimes just so that things can 'move along'. I have gotten into enough messes by trying to jump-start stuff, but still I cannot stand idleness, or that 'being in-between' state. It is harrowing. I can SEE the next steps as clear as day. I know what needs to happen... So like Snappy Doo I say: "let me at it!!!" even though I may be biting off more than I can chew.

Which brings me to my dilemma. Can people really change? Would I be deceiving myself to presume that someday I will by a calculated, methodical series of 'actions' which become 'habits' which then form my 'lifestyle' transition into a patient dog, waiting for the fattest bone? How will this change occur? Is what I am trying to change really that bad? Will the bone show up in the end? Who's bringing it? Or do I simply need to by SELF-CONTROL, practise being led by the Spirit of God? Hmm...

I identify with Joyce Meyer and Benny Hinn in their love of perfection and getting things done in a certain way. I learned from Joyce that some elements of what the psychs call OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder - which is a general term covering a multitude of anomalies) is embedded in her/my personality make up. I love motion, progress, symphony, order, sequence (I also love pauses, but only where they should occur and for a specified duration under certain specified conditions) :)

In trying to change myself I have found that it is impossible to unlearn what has been learned (Go and ask Adam and Eve how much they would pay to unlearn the knowledge of good and evil, or better still ask God why He didn't give them a lobotomy) rather what God has designed is that greater life, greater truth, higher laws can be learned, introduced and lived by, that elevate us from the limitations of our previous and ONLY known way of doing things (personality). So for an aggressive perfectionist, adding on NEW skills (like giving people the benefit of the doubt, empathy, listening, investing in training subordinates, etc) then using them rightly, causes the difference. So the change in a person is not that they by encountering Jesus forget how to steal or rob or bark at people, but that they learn how to create and give instead.

This is the true nature of change. We must exercise our wills to do the new things that we have learned and stop doing the wrong things we learned in the past. A distinction must be made between ABused skills and bad habits. Being particular, attentive to details and 'generally fussy' about order/arrangement of things and plans is not bad. It is a highly sought-after skill in the workplace. It can, however be misapplied or ABused, when the person NEVER allows for input from others, insists on their own way, or refuses to accommodate any 'failures' or departures from their preferred standard. Being inflexible is a bad habit that is often adopted by perfectionists.

People with OCD-ish tendencies need to submit themselves to the Spirit and to God's love. It is only in trusting God that they will find the freedom to release things into His hands and ask for His leading. We can only trust God when we become aware of His love for us... when we see just how committed He is to giving us the best life possible in spite of our imperfect selves. (Obsessive people see very well. Believe it or not, one of the things we see very very very well, is our own imperfections.) Having become a beneficiary of that love that overlooked all our imperfections and ajudged us righteous, we develop the capacity to be mellow and patient. We do not lose our sense of structure and order and propriety, but we put it in its place: under the love with which God has loved us.

The Higher Law/Way takes over from there and peace comes in to secure us in the in-betweens.

So now I can sleep better ;)

Carrying on

I remember reading in a book that if you are picking a journal, you should pick one that you are not afraid to scribble on. It shouldn't be so plush that you can't just put down a loose or fleeting thought on it.

This write up may just be a digital version of a scribble. So please lower your expectations slightly.

I stayed home today (largely). Anyone close to me knows that that warrants a good laugh, cuz I can stay home at will. I enjoy the life of an entrepreneur. I don't go out unless I (or my customers) make me. Never apologise for your lifestyle choices. I expect a 9-5er to enjoy their day as well as I do.

One of the challenges with that is this very activity in which I am engaged. Blogging. Amongst so many other social networking related activities. If your boss or employer is a prude, finding out you've been online could translate into a CLM (career limiting move) *more laughs*

I got to sit down and watch Channels TV to see my friends (yeah, I got personal friends that are TV personalities). If you strip away the cheesy CNN-wanna-be montages (with the dude talking passionately about 'íssues', and 'making the news simple' for us to understand as opposed to NTA that does that thing they do) it actually makes good viewing.

I was happy to see my former roommate in U.I. analysing/commenting on sports. Jyde-o, I hail. I always knew there was a strong possibility he would end up an avid sports enthusiast/commentator. I guess sports don't leave you so easily. Moving forward.

Today I bless God for His faithfulness. The devil keeps getting up to be used as a floormat to line my path to victory. I guess I don't mind. Up next, Winning Ways. 100% Life Improvement... Nice series.

Keep walking with Jesus. That is the Victory. This is the end of this scribble.

Re: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: I didn't believe it myself....

There should be a combination of alphabets for the 'throwing up' sound. If you've got any ideas please pass them across.

For me they surfaced right after yr. 2000. From the fun-filled to the bizarre, every time I checked my box, there'd be a fresh batch. From friends, and more annoying, from strangers.

The rise to fame of the internet and communication thereby has birthed....

The Fwd Ninjas

My friend Domike Isiodu coined this term a while back and it made an impression, seeing as I witnessed the many mailbox purging sessions he had to carry out each day to get to his actual email messages.

Don't get me wrong, I love a good joke any time. What I hate are the ones I call threat letters, with the ubiquitous 'fwd this to 4billion people in seven minutes or your computer will shut down' clause at the end. I tire for people.

I have opted to see these things in as good a light as possible, but also to study why they thrive:

We love to keep in touch. Have you poked anyone lately? (Can I get an amen from the facebook crew?) It's all good. Really it's very necessary. To know that we aren't alone, that we aren't losing it, and that if we are, there are people who can help us get 'it' back - whatever it is. It is amazing how your faith is strengthened by meeting someone who has owed more money than you and paid it off, or who was unemployed for longer than you but has landed 'the Job' or who suffered an illness but walked out of the hospital unaided.

Faith is powerful. God is awesome. So why can't we just believe He can handle any challenge in our way? I like to believe that it might be because we haven't heard Him say it in a language He knows we understand best - through a living witness.

'So when you are come out of these trials and your children/friends ask you how far, let your children know that it was by the strength of the Hand of God that you were delivered' (Exod 13:14 paraphrased) This is why Jesus came back after the resurrection - to be our first living witness to say 'it is done and it is available to everybody'.

My peoples, when you get those almost meaningless offline messages, texts, email messages (email does not have plural: so stop writing 'emails'. ka ji ko?), do reply. Cud be someone is shouting for help on the smoke-screened battlefield of life, and they just at least want to know that they are not alone.

But sha let's not send those ones with funny funny ultimatums!

Much love.