Past the finish line

It's 11:14am and I'm tired.

God is still faithful. It's been an interesting few days.

Lessons learned:
Stay positive. You can't afford to get bogged down with negative facts. Apparently there are a number of Nigerians right now who are very afraid of what the future holds for the country. As believers we don't disregard our physical environment but we're not ruled by it.

Stay objective:
This is one that keeps me busy. In writing this blog piece I've had to edit my sentences a few times. In the paragraph above I initially wrote 'there are many Nigerians'. I changed it to 'there are quite a number of Nigerians', then finally 'there are a number of Nigerians'. 😂 God help me.

While you're yet to become awesome, please be consistent. I've made the error of letting up on some contacts recently and lost time on those deals. On the farm/gardening project, I've benefitted from going down regularly and staying in the greenhouse just a little longer... I see tasks to add to the work schedule, etc.

There's something about timing
Flow with the times. There are seasons of high activity and seasons of calm. Don't fight the waves, ride them. Learn to rest when there's a pause in the sequence of activities you planned. I've received a lot of refreshing by totally turning off all my devices during some of these rest periods. For a heavy device user, I know it helps.

Another side to timing is that you have to be patient. I've followed up contacts to exasperation - and it strains the relationship. Let people breathe. Also don't frustrate yourself by trying to rush God.

I'm in a season where I'm manufacturing my own happiness. I've had the privilege of having key people (who I thought were obliged or covenanted to treat me right) properly let me down or shut me out, so it's a beautiful training ground. I'm learning to stop making gods out of men.

Please note that in some of these relationships, I am the one who failed on my promises, triggering a shut down. Nonetheless, the lesson is gained and life is better.

Please work on your key relationships - don't expect what you haven't invested, and don't make gods out of mere men.

About the finish line:
Finish something everyday. PLEASE. You'll be glad you did. I struggle with trying to make everything perfect - such that I never finish anything. I catch myself saying "you need to move forward, fast". This enforces a sense of never attaining (anything), always being in motion, but never arriving. It's terrible. I'm done with it.

I've finished this post - it's rich, informative and (hopefully) typo-free. Please flag any typos you see. Thanks!


If you liked this article please let me know (post a comment below) and if you think a friend would like it, share it with them. Thanks for reading. 

Family Matters

We've all heard the expression 'she wears several hats' used to describe the state of playing multiple (and sometimes conflicting) roles in a process or relationship. 

It's a higher level of multi-tasking. If this is something you find difficult to do, this article's for you. 

How to cope with wearing many hats

Recognize all your roles

Some parents fight the role of disciplinarian. Others with multiple children try to avoid being the judge or referee in their children's lives. Unfortunately our children, loved ones and partners will not stop needing us to play our roles just because we don't like the role. Sometimes they stop expecting or asking us to play our part, but the responsibility remains ours.

It may take a while but you can list out all the roles that are expected of you by your partners or loved ones. This is the first step. 

Make a list, then discuss it with them. You would be pleasantly surprised by how well you understand their expectations. You may also discover significant differences. Your list should include serious as well as fun things. 

Actually spelling out what each role requires in time, skill and other resources can help you to decide upfront if you can play the role, or if you have to modify your life (calendar, skill level, et al) to suit the role.

This is business -  it's personal

Treat each role as a product or service that you sell, and each person as a customer. From TV I got two powerful statements: "It's not personal, it's business" and the very powerful response "Everything is personal if you're a person" To be a great salesman, you've got to know your products, but more importantly, you've got to know your customer. 

Talking with the people you relate with regularly and asking how they feel about what you do for them is very important. You've got to do it regularly but after a reasonable interval. People change - which means what you thought was great yesterday could become awful today. Keep in touch. 

Keep stock

You've got to remember how many packs of criticism you've supplied in the past three months. How many bags of hope and encouragement. How many vaccinations of praise. This matters - if you forget, then you can't defend yourself if your customer forgets.

If you've got a melancholic customer who always forgets about your hope and encouragement supplies, then you need to start delivering them through means they must acknowledge and that can be placed in their faces all day. 

If on the other hand you've got an amped customer who easily forgets corrections and constructive criticism, you've also got to get them to sign for it, in a way they won't forget. 

Remember why

Remember why you're in this. Funny as it may seem, it's some version of... Love. Yes, love. We're in relationships because we are committing ourselves to doing good to the other person (aka loving them). 

So when deciding on your supplies to your customers, remember to ask whether the contents are loving. It's always personal because you are dealing with a person. Every little thing matters - because it's a person that's receiving it. If they will ask themselves why, then you should too. Always ask "why am I doing this? Is this showing love?"

Think long term 

Once in a while ask yourself "if I couldn't be here anymore, if this relationship came to an end, what would its sum total come to?" What will they remember me for? Do they even have things to remember me by? 

Try these out and drop me a line anytime so we can chat further. Wishing you all the best in managing your hat collection!

If you liked this article please let me know (post a comment below) and if you think a friend would like it, share it with them. Thanks for reading.